I really really want to be multi-lingual

Just so I can be an obnoxious cunt in a different language. It'd be so satisfying.

I'm pretty sure I'm a wizard.

When I was young I used to fall asleep on the couch, and magically wake up in bed.


TRUE STORY.

I lost the bet.

"I will not start a blog and lose interest really really quick."


Well, I did. 


Blogging is like sex. It's all exciting and new at first, until you do it. Then it's overrated, anticlimactic and (when you have to force your friends into reading it), hurts. I'm sure it keeps running along the parallel and get's a lot better, but at the moment my material is like a boring lover and is just not keeping me entertained. So I'm reverting to lists until I get my wit back, because lists I can do.


5 Things I Miss From the 90's:
NB. This list shows exactly why I come across as a nerd, even when I pretend I'm not.
i. Putting pictures and games into neatly organized files on 5 1/4" floppy discs
ii. Netscape
iii. Ask Jeeves
vi. Trading cards
v. Neopets.


This is my Neopet. It was named after a boyfriend at the time. FML.

Next list: Favourite pranks I've pulled on workmates. Goodluck, suckers.

2 weeks 6 days 20 hours 38 minutes, and counting.

UNTIL I AM ON MY FLIGHT TO HERE!!:

Well, I am kind of lying, because my flight actually goes to LA then I have to connect to JFK. But in essence, I WILL BE ON MY WAY TO NY-FUCKING-C!! I'm pretty excited about this.


Although, I only have 2 hours to clear customs AND get onto the connecting flight - this terrifies me. If there is a line to join, without a doubt I seem to join the slowest moving one. Will probably be in the line where the 20-strong family in front of me all get their bags searched and filmed (then re-shot) for Boarder Patrol or a US equivilent. I bet.


It will look something like this:


(okay the picture wont upload, but  it is a very long line of people waiting at the airport).


2 weeks 6 days 20 hours 11 minutes now.

Designers on the Drugs

In a moment of alcoholic clarity, some gifted designers came up with the following ideas:

Shape Ups versus High-heeled Crocs

 

...

... umm ...

What the fuhuck.

(Side note - I tried for, like, 20 minutes to make those shoes the same size and it's not working - another strike against these monstrosities).

I can see the logic in Shape Ups helping to lose weight - sort of. If you spend a ridiculous amount of money on fugley shoes (about NZD$199 minimum), then you will want to use them. Extra exersize = lost weight.
On the flipside though, who would want to wear these outside of the house? ... Probably someone who would wear them with jeans *nightmere*.

Shape Ups can kind of (but not really) be justified in that they are targetting a neiche market - quick-fix-wanting fashionably challenged individuals with too much money - but high-heeled Crocs??

No. No no no no no. Crocs have the whole "I'm-comfortable-so-I'm-allowed-to-be-hidi" thing going on. Adding heels throws this out the window. Heels are for looks, not comfort, so this basically goes against nature. It's hard to even describe how much I hate these. Walking tack.

So, Shape Ups versus Heeled crocs... you vote. Either way though, you lose.


PS. I know this isn't something "I Want" I'n Palmy, but it is something that I have to look at here. Tards.

Here is how I'm popping the blog cherry...

So I wanted to make a blog that links to a bunch of cool shit while projecting a casual quasi-sarcastic apathy about stuff. Turns out I'm not that cool, so I wrote this on Notepad to channel 1980's computer-geek - feeling tres retro (aka. awesome) now so here is my first link to something pretty sweet.

Helena Bonham Carter. Vanity Fair, March 2011. 'Nuf said.